Who are these people? O, that’s just my fan club
The friendliness in Serbia versus the cool reception of the north
Last Saturday I was running around my lake as I approached a group of people who were coming my way. Usually these situations are quite awkward, because there I am, sweaty, red-faced, not looking my best and quite exhausted. I also never know where to look as we pass each other and whether I should greet them, just smile or ignore them point blank. I suppose the other party is going through the same emotions during the slow seconds that tick before our paths cross. This group was different, however, because they started to smile, to cheer and to speak to me. Then I realised that I know these people.
My fan club
When I just started running, in April this year, I usually went out in the late afternoon. It was still cool then, and running was a great activity to get rid of the stress of the day. But as the weather got warmer, I had to move my time to early in the morning. It is impossible to run in 30+ degrees Celsius and even in the early hours of the day it was tough. When I still ran in the afternoon, there was a group of people I met almost every weekend. They always commented on how well I was doing, they urged me to never give up and every time I met them (sometimes that was 5 times in one day) they were smiling and cheering me on. I started calling them my fan club, but lost touch when I stopped running at that time.
The reunion
I kind of forgot about them, but when I saw them again last Saturday, I was reminded of how nice they are. They asked me how I am, why they had not seen me for so long, where I am from, etcetera. I remember that I even met them one day when I was just going for a stroll around the lake with my children and they still knew who I was and mentioned how good it is to run. I suppose they love nature as well and also go for a walk whenever they can. Anyway, our reunion was a warm one and when they let me go, I started to contemplate this event. Once again, my running thoughts reminded me of how friendly Serbian people are.
Am I a cold bitch?
There is an enormous cultural difference between Serbia and The Netherlands and that is the way strangers interact with each other. What happened with my fan club last Saturday would rarely happen in The Netherlands, simply because of the fact that we do not know each other. But why not let someone know when you admire what they are doing, even if you have not met before? I am still taken aback sometimes with the way total strangers treat me here, so friendly and open.
That time we had coffee
My running thoughts took me back to the time when I was having a drink with my friend. We regularly take the kids to this one restaurant, because there is a nice outside area with animals, where we can sit and they can play. Out of nowhere this waiter comes to our table and tells us very politely but with full commitment how he admires us, how cool we are and how he always thinks we are amazing. This made us smile from ear to ear, it made us feel good and this guy did not have to do that. Still, he did and I am glad.
The downside of this friendliness
As I was running and thinking about how nice these events were, I also realised that sometimes the opposite can be true. People here are so friendly, for example, that they just turn up at your house without announcing themselves. I could be walking around naked, sleeping, busy. Still, when they come it is normal to let visitors in, give them slatko, coffee and a rakija and spend all the energy you have left on pleasing them. To send them home would be an insult. As a result of this friendly culture, the threshold to speak to a stranger is lower. That also means that people will let you know if they disapprove of something. I have lost count of the number of comments I got for not putting socks on the kids, for going out with wet hair or for not eating enough.
It can be too forceful sometimes
You cannot send a visitor on their way, but when you are the visitor, it is almost awkward. When visiting relatives, the whole table is filled with delicious food and drink. You finish half of your glass and it is refilled already and the host is carefully taking note of how many times you refill your plate. If this is not enough, to their opinion, they almost force you to eat more. People here are used to that and know how to deal with these commands. They will just play the game until it is finished and only eat more if they really want to. I still have no idea what to do and end up eating more, even if I am full, just to be polite.
The strangest thing about all this is that the women (usually the mother and the daughter(s) of the family) who are serving the food, do not eat anything. I once asked them why they are making me eat like that when they are just sitting there, but they just laughed it off. The women eat the leftovers, alone in the kitchen later, out of sight and when all the men and visitors are full. And, of course, only after all the dishes are cleared away, all the glasses are filled up and all the ashtrays have been emptied.
It is not difficult to like these people
Even though these traditions and customs are strange to me and sometimes even forceful and unequal, it is very difficult not to be infatuated with the friendliness of the Serbian people. I am always reminded of this when I see the difference between the way I am received when I arrive at the Serbian and Dutch airports, especially when I have the kids with me. In The Netherlands people avoid eye contact and someone else’s kid is something you ignore as much as you can. In Serbia people smile at us, they comment on how cute the children are, what a treasure it is to have them and how good they are. They have no ulterior motives, they do not want to chat; they just say what they feel. That is a much nicer way to come home.
Every runner needs a fan club
I sincerely hope I will see my fan club again. They make me feel good about what I am doing and are doing that in a remarkably unselfish way. They do not have to say anything and could just ignore me. But instead, like the waiter at the restaurant and the people at the airport, they decide to speak up and share their enthusiasm. My fan club should be an example to all. In everyone would give a compliment to complete strangers sometimes, this world would be a much better place.